My Dad is A Nut

By Serge Skudaev

Yes, he's crazy. The whole family says it, even grandpa. The other evening I asked him to help me write a composition. He didn't want to. He said, "You can do that by yourself."

"No!" I said."You must help me!"

He said, "I'm busy." He was reading a poetry book. Can you imagine? He likes poetry! My grandpa said,"Just idiots like such mad things, because all poets are idlers and alcoholics."

He is so oddish! He doesn't watch TV news like grandpa. He draws his boring sketches. He is an inventor. Can you imagine? Recently, he spent three hundred dollars to buy some tools, wires, pieces of plastic and something else I have never seen. Can you imagine how many barbies I could buy for such big money? And what he invented! A watchyamacallit... A soup plate which soars around the room. He's just too lazy to carry his soup by himself. Who needs such devices?

My grandpa said, "You'd better earn money."My mom said, "He is going to make us beggars through his inventions."

By the way, about flying plates . . . This morning he was cleaning the dishes when I needed to wash my hands.  When I tried to use the sink with him, he dropped a plate and broke it. Why couldn't he use his invention? He is so clumsy!

Isn't he stupid? He couldn't do my homework in math last night! I asked my grandpa to help me in math, but he couldn't understand anything. He didn't do well in school. He said,"Nuts always do well in school. Ask your dad." ...So, I got into trouble. What he wrote! When I showed it to my teacher, her face lengthened.

She said, "This can't be your work! You must do it by yourself! "Indeed! What next! Our principal (he, too, is a mathematician) called me into his office and demanded,"Who did your math homework for you?"

I was forced to confess that my dad had done it.The principal said, "The president of Mathematics Society wants to see him immediately!"

Boy, is Dad going to catch it now!










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